Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “ Whatever affects one, directly affects all indirectly.” Often times, we hear others ask “ Why does it matter what I do, or how I do things? It's my life." Well, like Martin Luther King Jr. stated, our actions do not only effect our own lives, but the lives of others as well.
I will compare this effect to a set of standing Dominoes.
Once you hit one, they will topple one over another until all have fallen. One cannot fall without effecting others. In the same manner, what we do will not only effect ourselves, but also our families and our community. In this post I will be going over some family trends, and then how they have a successive Domino effect on other aspects of life for individuals, families, and communities.
Some of the interesting trends are as follows:
- People are marrying at a later age. In the U.S. the average age for males about 28, and for females it 26.
- The percentage of couples who engage in cohabitation before marriage is on the rise within the U.S. with 60%-80% doing so.
- There has been an increase of mothers who enter the work force who have children under the age of 6.
- The size of households in the U.S. is decreasing with the current average size of a household being 2.3 people. This is along side a decreasing birth rate of 1.8 children born per women.
- The number of out of wedlock births has been on a steady rise in the U.S. over the last several of years.
- There is an increased rate of people living alone.
- Additionally, there is an increased amount of reported loneliness.
- Finally, there is a high rate of divorces.
Many people may look at a lot of these trends and ask the question, “ Why does this matter?" Well, it turns out that these trends have a Domino affect one another. Just as Martin Luther King Jr. said, the each action we take does in all reality effect more than just ourselves and may have an unforeseen effect later on down the road.
So, what happens if people marry later, and how does that affect others? Often, when people delay marriage, it effects how many children that couple can have together. The number of children born into a family contributes to not only the size of the family or household, but to the population of our community and nation. At first glance this may not appear to big concern, but when a nation's birth rate falls below 2.3 children per mother, this is a concern. Once a birth rate falls below 2.3 children per mother, it throws the proportion of the population off balance, so that in future years there will too few children growing into adults who will then be able to take care of the adults who have become the elderly.
Next, let’s examine this Domino effect by taking a look at the trend of cohabitation before marriage. "How does this influence others? It only affects the relationship of the individual couple, right?" Well, often those who cohabit do not have as many children as those who are married, which as we have already explained, can cause some complicated trends in the population. Cohabitation is linked to the rise in children who are born out of wedlock. Couples that engaged in cohabitation before marriage are also linked to an increased rate of divorce. Of couples that divorce, when children are involved, the mother often has to seek employment. When mothers of children under six who were once the primary caregiver for their child have to enter the work force, this can be a cause for concern. At such a young age, there is a lot of development taking place for children, and it is important that they have a constant, reliable caregiver so that they can experience a healthy development physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Another prevalent trend is the increase of individuals who are living alone. This is linked to the decline in marriage. Similarly, it can also act as one of the contributing factors of smaller household sizes, and a higher reports of loneliness.
Now, there are certainly many sensitive reasons behind why individuals and couples choose to take the path that they do. But, regardless of the drive behind these trends, the result is not positive and has serious negative effect on the family and society. It is important that we be especially mindful of how our actions can effect our families that we have now, and the ones that we may wish to have someday.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said, “Thus it is that no cruelty whatsoever passes by without impact, thus it is that we always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.”
In my mind, the family is the most important unit of a society. However, being married, having children, and caring for loved ones is not cheap or easy at all. It can take an economic, emotional, and physical toll on individuals. I have never heard anyone say that to be a spouse or a parent is easy. The societal trends that we have discussed could be considered cheap in that they are easier or provide a path of least resistance. However, like Mr. Solzhenitsyn, these cheap choices will have an unfortunate consequence.
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