Family Cultures

All across the world, no matter where we go, you will find that people do things differently. In Brazil, before entering into someone's house, people clap their hands outside of the yard. In France there are more than 360 different kinds of cheese. There are even some places in the world, such as Vietnam, where it is common to eat dog. Meanwhile, in other parts of the world, dogs are considered man's best friend. Each of these differences are due to the various cultures that exist throughout the world. Culture has a huge impact on communities and nations. Similar to how the culture of a community or nation influences customs, each family has their own culture that plays a big role in the lives of the individual family members.

A family’s culture is a unique and interesting thing. We often don't even realize that we have a family culture until we move out of home ,or stay with other people, such college roommates. One of the first times I noticed that my family has their own culture was when I came home from college to visit for Thanksgiving. In my family, technology is used at the bare minimum. For instance, I didn't get my own cell phone until I was 20 years old and in college. That Thanksgiving, when I came home, I was texting my girlfriend and my father complained that I was on my phone ‘all the time.’ In many families, the time I spent on my phone would have been considered completely normal. However, in my home, no matter the amount of time spent on the phone, any time spent involved on the phone instead of talking with the people who are present is considered rude.

Now, that’s just an example of one unique aspect of my family’s own culture. There are many other things that can very from one family to another that may reflect a difference in culture. Some families are more physically affectionate with one another. For instance, in your family, is it normal to tickle your grown siblings? Or would you only tickle little children during rough and tumble play? Or does your family never tickle at all? What about spanking? Some families only use spanking as a form of punishment, others would never permit spanking in their home. In contrast, some families will spank one another as a joke. Religion can also play a role in the differences in family culture. Does your family do things like pray before you have dinner? If you do, who is the one who prays, or asks someone to pray? The list can go on and can include how you talk with your family, or how you pick what you are going to do to bond together. However, each of these things help shape who you are and who your family is.

A family’s culture can be strongly influenced by the culture of their communities and nations. For instance, my wife and I are both from the western United States, but in many instances our families have a very different culture. As a couple, we are now working together to form our own family culture together. Which leads me to one of the great things about family culture: they are not set in stone, and they can be changed. If someone does not like something about the family culture in the home they grew up in, they can change that.

There are a lot of small things about a family’s culture that in long the run don’t make much of a difference. Whether or not a family allows people to wear shoes in the house, or requires that everyone finish everything on the plate at dinner before they are excused, usually doesn’t leave a long lasting effect on the relationships and development of family members. However, there some things that do matter a lot for a family.  

One of the big things that does matter is if your family culture allows its members to feel security. This is especially important for the younger children of a family. They need to know that they have parents who love them and love each other. One way that a family culture can help establish a sense of security is by having an executive leader of some sort. This is not a family dictator that doesn't compromise, but instead is a person that the family can turn to as a leader when things get out of control and become chaotic. The executive leader helps insure a feeling of security and safety.

I think it is wonderful that there are so many different kinds of cultures in the world. The differences between families can be a great blessing, because each family brings an important view and sense of character to the community. It’s my hope that we can remember to embrace the good in our family cultures, be willing to learn from the good in the cultures of other families around us, and be brave to leave behind the things that are harmful.