Marriage and its Transitions

Any transition or change we face has the potential of being hard or difficult. Things such as college, a new job, going on a mission trip. Marriage can also be one of the biggest transitions one may face in there life. When we are to be married we know we want to live with and love our spouse forever but we often may not realize what a transition it can be. I would like to discuss some of the ways that marriage can be a  hard transition and then some ways in that the transition can be a bit smother in our lives.
  I hear people complain all the time about there family. Some say things like " ahh my brother is so immature" or " I love my parents but I just can't stand being with them for more than a couple of days at a time". Who knows you may have found yourself saying this yourself and you understand the struggles of family life. Well what is it like with 2 families instead of one? Receiving a whole new family is a hard transition that comes with marriage that many people have to face. It can be hard to be considerate of family members views and  differences that you are not used to while still trying to form your own habits and way of doing things with your own spouse. This can be really hard and make the marital transition  difficult. When you are married you are forming your own family with your spouse and your own way of doing things. Often parents and others want to still have the exact same role as they did before and want to in a way infringe on your choices and have a strong say in what you do as a couple. A marriage in a way is leaving your family behind and committing to your spouse and relying on them instead of parents and others. This can be often hard to understand and cause a lot of stress to a newly wed couple trying to transition.
  Another transition that happens in a the life of a couple comes with the first child. It can be difficult to feel close to your wife when she is having to worry so much about her health and your future child while she is pregnant. Like wise it can be hard for the pregnant wife to find ways to be close to the husband and involve him with the pregnancy when she has so much already to think and worry about. Research shows that for most marriages marital satisfaction takes a significant drop with each birth of a child. Sadly often this drop may lead to a divorce. On the other some couples focus so much on there children and not on each other that when there children leave the nest they do not know what to do and many couples at this step in there lives often get divorced.
  So whats a person to do to help with this? Are we all just destine to failure? The answer to that is no. In each of these transitions there are things we can do to help. For instance when the married couple is pregnant it is wise to try to involve the husband as much as possible. When there is an ultrasound or appointment have the husband go so he can feel included. And when the baby starts to kick let the husband feel and know what it feels like. This will help him to feel excited and included during the pregnancy and likewise closer to the wife. Dating is also a highly important tool to use often from the beginning of the relationship until death. This will help the couple to always feel close to each other in what ever step of there life together. It is also important to talk openly about your family plans and goals. This way you can booth be on the same page and not have to worry about the advice from the peanut gallery about how you should have to do things. Then when pressure comes from family to do things a certain way you wont have to worry as much because you will already have experience forming your own way of doing things with your spouse.
  Yeah any transition can be difficult especially a marital transition. However, there are a lot of things to be mindful of and practice in order to keep the marriage strong despite the potentially difficult transition. Tools like being involving the husband in the pregnancy and going on dates can help smooth out potentially hard transitions.